At the Time of my Death

One of my children recently asked me, if at all possible, could I reach out to them if I know I’m dying. I told them I could live another 20+ years. As my neurologist told me, I will live with ALS for a long time. I also told them if I know I’m dying, I would certainly let them come to see me. I would want to see them too.

I did almost die twice. I’ve had a tracheostomy, which controls my breathing. My lungs aren’t strong enough to breathe anymore. So, it happened one day that my trach fell out of my neck. I had been turned over when it jumped from my throat. My nurse, Katrina, who is also one of my best friends, flipped me back over. She noticed I had turned blue from lack of oxygen and I passed out. She ran to get my emergency bag, wherein lay my extra trach and the assistive device that would help her give me oxygen through now new trach. She saved my life.

The same thing happened when my mom and dad were watching over me. They are my heroes too.

So, my children, if it happens like that, I can’t give you notice. I promise you that, if I do know, you’ll definitely get a phone call. I love you all so very much. And always will.

John 14:27a – Peace I (Jesus) leave with you, my peace I give unto you… (KJV)

The Perfect Baby

My firstborn, Michael Stephen, Jr. was born to be a joy. He continued to be a strong and loving boy and man. My first beautiful memory of you is when you were a baby. I would hold you and we would dance together to Kenny G. Sometimes you would giggle, which would make my heart joyous because I love you so much.

I was so proud of you when you graduated from high school! You proudly went in line to receive your diploma. I was excited for you that your dad and Papaw could be there for your big day. It had looked to me that you very happy with your graduation party.

Another exciting moment: When you leaned towards me and said, “I’m going to ask Tabi to marry me!” I was elated! Tabi is a lovely girl, with excellent manners and a four-year-old son and he calls me “Grandma Jen.”

I have the sweetest picture of you and your sister, which is not available to me right now. You were holding your newborn sister, smiled with her, and then hugged her. Then you pronounced, “My baby.” You were so sweet (and still are!)

Another proud moment is when you bought your first home. You had worked hard in your yard and within your house. You even built a fire pit!

Like I said earlier, you were the perfect baby. You were drinking a whole lot of formula, at three weeks old, that we decided to give you baby cereal. It worked and you loved your cereal! You were drinking the proper amount and you were sleeping through night!

Matthew 7:24-25: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of Mine, and doeth them, I will liken unto him a wise man, which built his house upon a Rock: and rain descended, and the floods came, and the wind blew, and beat upon that house; it fell not: because it was founded upon a Rock. (KJV)

My Little Man

I figured that I’d written about my daughter, I couldn’t do my sons a disservice by not writing them a post. So, here we go!

My youngest son is Daniel James. He was a smile-bug from birth on. He was always with huge grin and was ever-pleasant. Danny, who goes by “Dan” now, gave me some trouble when he was in my belly. I had severe morning sickness, day and night, and I couldn’t stay awake. We had known that three children was our limit; I had wanted four, but he had wanted two. I’m so happy that I have my Danny. Maybe God brought Danny out so pleasant a baby to make up for the difficult pregnancy.

My favorite memory of you was when you studied so hard, and read books, so you could graduate from middle school. I was so proud of you when, after you worked through it all, you received your diploma!

My other favorite memory of you is the day you brought bride-to-be home so I could meet her. Her name is Kimberly Emily, and she is a beauty. I was thrilled to meet her, and she has become a daughter to me. No “steps” or “in-laws” in this family!

I remember the first time you were standing in your crib. You had on this very large, toothy smile, like you were so proud of yourself! I sure was! I think you had two teeth. You were wearing your blue and white striped onesie, as it was a summer day, and Daddy and I were smiling with you.

Another thing I love about you is your height! At 6’4″ tall, you are my gentle giant. Like your brother and your sister, you would stand by me when you believed I was being wronged, especially after I became incapacitated due to ALS. You were always a fabulous son!

You mean so much to me. I can’t put it into words. Maybe this would do: Do you remember the day you almost died at our friends’ house? As Christian mothers, we always taught you to obey immediately. In this case, it saved your life. You didn’t know this, but the back door you used to use, now opened far down to the basement, where a pile of concrete blocks were awaiting you.

The moment you opened the door, my friend yelled out, “Daniel, STOP!” You closed the door, and came in another door. If I’d lost you, I don’t want to think about it.

I love you, my little man, and your life-brightening smile!

Philemon 1:21 – Having confidence in thy obedience I wrote unto thee, knowing that thou wilt also do more than I say. (KJV)